Pausing. Not sure what to do next, if anything. Sending love to blog friends near and far.
Tuesday, April 11, 2023
Sunday, April 9, 2023
Wednesday, April 5, 2023
Monday, April 3, 2023
"... it turned into sort of a cosmic song rather than an irritated song ..."
John Lennon:
“I was lying next to my first wife in bed, you know, and I was irritated. She must have been going on and on about something and she’d gone to sleep and I’d kept hearing these words over and over, flowing like an endless stream. I went downstairs and it turned into sort of a cosmic song rather than an irritated song; rather than a ‘Why are you always mouthing off at me?’ or whatever, right? …
But the words stand, luckily, by themselves. They were purely inspirational and were given to me as boom! I don’t own it, you know; it came through like that. I don’t know where it came from, what meter it’s in, and I’ve sat down and looked at it and said, 'Can I write another one with this meter?’ It’s so interesting.
'Words are flying [sic] out like [sings] endless rain into a paper cup, they slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe.’ Such an extraordinary meter and I can never repeat it! It’s not a matter of craftsmanship; it wrote itself. It drove me out of bed. I didn’t want to write it, I was just slightly irritable and I went downstairs and I couldn’t get to sleep until I put it on paper, and then I went to sleep.
It’s like being possessed; like a psychic or a medium. The thing has to go down. It won’t let you sleep, so you have to get up, make it into something, and then you’re allowed to sleep. That’s always in the middle of the bloody night, when you’re half awake or tired and your critical facilities are switched off.”
“Words are flowing out
Like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
Are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai Guru Deva, Om
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Images of broken light
Which dance before me like a million eyes
They call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
Restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai Guru Deva, Om
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Sounds of laughter, shades of life
Are ringing through my opened ears
Inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love
Which shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe
Jai Guru Deva, Om
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Nothing’s gonna change my world
Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva
Jai Guru Deva”
Thank you to dreaminginthedeepsouth
Friday, March 31, 2023
Night song / Everyone and Everywhere / A request for "Here Comes The Sun" / Reruns March 21-31, 2007
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Sunday, March 26, 2023
Pomponio Beach / Keeping in touch with old friends / Possibilities
Friday, March 24, 2023
"... If all else fails, there's always the sky."
Sending love to blog friends near and far.
Monday, March 20, 2023
My friend Janis is in the ER tonight
Sunday, March 19, 2023
Theme for March 19, 2023: "The Listeners" read by Pádraig Ó Tuama / Am's artwork retrospective 1966-2008 revisited: March 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 2023 / MealTrain for Janis
"The Listeners" read by Pádraig Ó Tuama
Is there anybody there?’ said the Traveller,Knocking on the moonlit door;
*
heart-breaking beauty
Will remain when there is no heart to break for it.
(from "Credo," by Robinson Jeffers, Stones of the Sur, p. 144, with photographs by Morley Baer)
In this silence
I am looking for relief
Trusting grief
Loving the child never conceived
Loving all the shattered children
Who dared not trust, love or grieve
Loving the silent holy night
The wild blue sky of day
The courage of redwood trees
The beloved ocean
Still mirroring our wild hearts
Always calling to us:
Trust grief.
(poem begun in 6/17/2000, completed 8/26/2003)
Now it's not so clear what it is that is behind this recent feeling of depression. I believe that the solution is the same. I need to make a decision to face my fears and change the course of my life again. Am I again married to something that was never meant to be? What is it? I hope these are the right questions. I know what it is to feel joy, and I hope to feel that again.
Mid-February to mid-April is not the best time for me because of pollen and mold allergies. I no longer suffer from severe upper respiratory symptoms, but I do experience a feeling of malaise in late winter and early spring that is at odds with the beauty of this time of year. As the days grow lighter, I don't feel better. If anything, I have reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder and don't feel well again until after the summer solstice. I have chosen not to take antidepressant medication because my depression is situational. My experience is that it always lifts.
A book that I have found helpful with depression is The Zen Path Through Depression, by Philip Martin. I need to get that book out again.
Listening closely to Jewell James
Saturday, March 18, 2023
Wednesday, March 15, 2023
Saturday, March 11, 2023
March 11, 2023: Before Tomorrow and The Light We Carry / Reruns: March 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 2007
— J.R.R. Tolkien