"... Well something's lost, but something's gained In living every day ..." / "Rule #24: When you eat real food, you don't need rules" / Winter Solstice 2023

As someone who struggled with an eating disorder from age 10 to age 37, this book serves as a gentle reminder that my nearly two decades of war with food are long over because instinctively I began to eat in the way that is suggested by Michael Pollan's 83 general rules.  

Rule 83:  Break the Rules Once in a While

Enjoy every sandwich.

(Warren Zevon)

Then there is Rule #52:  Have a glass of wine with dinner.

There is one personal rule I don't ever break and that is that I don't drink alcohol in any form anymore.  I used to drink wine and had no trouble stopping after drinking a small amount, but that small amount always resulted in an unbearable craving (a sign of alcoholism) that made it virtually impossible for me to stop eating.  I didn't want to be an alcoholic and so I turned to more and more food instead of more alcohol.  Of course, food couldn't stop a craving for alcohol. It was astounding to discover that my eating disorder disappeared when I stopped drinking alcohol -- that my eating problems were actually alcoholism.  Wine is a delightful healthy food for most people throughout the world but for alcoholics like me it only led to insatiable craving for food and years of unrelieved depression that ended 36 years ago in May 1987 when I had my last drink (a champagne breakfast in a restaurant with my parents), followed by my last bout of suicidal depression.  

*

Winter Solstice.

The sun rose here at 8 a.m. and will set at 4:16 p.m.  

A turning point.

Celebrating the return of the light with friends near and far, while enjoying the improved quality of sleep I enjoy during most, but not all, of the long dark winter nights.  

Calendar Series:  28th Month (Return / The Turning Point)

-- am's painting from 1988

"... It stays pretty green ..."

(Joni Mitchell)

Women Holding Things

a love song to women
and at times everyone
(as exhausted as we all are
from holding everything)

it was born from a little booklet
made during the pandemic.
and then expanded upon.
with 86 paintings.
ruminations
and digressions
of course.

-- Maira Kalman

*

"Woman With Her Hands Full"

(pastel drawing by am from the mid-1980s)

Earth And Sky Poetry Totem Pole / "Ich Habe Genug"

Ich

habe

genug

THE PRINCIPLES OF UNCERTAINTY

A thoughtful friend gave me this book as a gift. I recommend it.
























































(1-2 hour drawing time, 5:55 to 6:25 a.m. -- 6B pencil on heavy weight, medium tooth surface, 9 x 12 Canson drawing pad, while not listening to anything except what is right in front of me.

Today's "Paused" images are from an excellent PBS documentary from 2002 titled "Muhammad: Legacy of a Prophet." Interestingly, it was before September 11, 2001, that this film was in the process of being made.

As I wrote yesterday, I seek out stories from all traditions. Particularly moving, from this documentary, is the story of Kevin James, the son of an African-American/Native American father and a Jewish mother. As an adult, Kevin James became a Muslim as well as a firefighter for the New York City Fire Department. On September 11, 2001, he found himself among the first responders.)

It is my tradition on the first day of Kwanzaa, December 26, to watch the video, "Harambee!". Here's a synopsis.

Which reminds me of what whiskey river quoted on December 23:

""The family is one of nature's masterpieces."
- George Santayana

This morning at 7 a.m. I stood out on my porch in the dark and took this picture.