This is the only painting I did in 1994 and was completed, I believe, in October, during a period of emotional exhaustion. After I painted it, I remembered "Skeleton Woman," an original literary story in WOMAN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. The book, IN WATERMELON SUGAR, by Richard Brautigan, was in my thoughts, too, because Skeleton Woman has watermelon seeds and watermelon sprouts on her blouse. With this painting, it was clear to me that I could not go on creating paintings that were inspired by grief and loss. What had begun as a way to heal had become a source of unending grief. I didn't want to paint any more pictures like this one. I wanted to stop grieving. I wanted my life back.
In early December of 1994, my mother died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack, after which my 80-year-old father left California and moved to a retirement community in the town where I live.
