Showing posts with label fearless and asymmetrical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fearless and asymmetrical. Show all posts

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Progress not Perfection: Fearless and Asymmetrical Mandalas


On September 17, 2014, I began working on the first mandala of the "Fearless and Asymmetrical Mandala Series," (scroll down past today's post) using an inexpensive box of watercolor pencils made for children. My mother's mandala series was the inspiration. Below is the palette I used for Mandala #1. I was using 17 colors from the spectrum, minus the shades of brown. As I continued making mandalas, I found it frustrating that some of inexpensive pencil tips continued to break off over and over again as I used them. As a result, I was using fewer and fewer colors with each mandala I made.

Yesterday I finished Mandala #9, using Faber-Castell Polychromos pencils with a completely different palette that I chose by eye from the shelves at the Dakota Art Store. However, my new palette doesn't have as many colors as the old palette, and looking at this last mandala, I want to remedy that.  

My new pencils are not watercolor pencils, and I don't need to worry about accidentally getting the paper wet and having the colors run. They aren't showing any signs of breakage either.

Here is the limited palette I used for Mandala #9:




















Here's the palette in progress I'm using for Mandala #10:
















I'm going to go back to the Dakota Art Store with the original watercolor pencil palette and try to duplicate it as closely as possible. May not be possible, but I'll give it a try. I loved the names of the children's pencils. The names of squirrel jacket, hedgerow, dew at 5 a.m., rabbit boots and berry pie appeal to me more than cadmium orange, viridian, light cobalt turquoise, crimson and violet.

"I had to rearrange their faces and give them all another name."

This is the longest run of works on paper that I have had since the First Gulf War began in 1990. That was when I began to experience symptoms of the post-traumatic stress disorder that is the result of my experiences during the war in Vietnam. Recently I've been hearing in my mind the words that Richard wrote in the summer of 2002:

"Please take all my love and go on with your life."

It's been 45 years this month since Richard left for Vietnam and 44 years since he returned as a haunted man. For so many years, I didn't feel I could go on with my life as long as he was suffering. It's been almost 7 years since he died. It's never too late to accept his love and go on with my life. Half measures avail me nothing. What am I waiting for? Why not now? There is nothing holding me back except me.

"Question from Robert Love: And productive work is a kind of salvation in your view? To feel pride in what you do?

Answer from Bob Dylan: Absolutely."
(from the AARP interview)

I've had a upper respiratory infection with a headache for the past 11 days. My voice is still hoarse. I still cough occasionally. The sore throat has finally left, along with the headache. Haven't been able to work on my job retraining program. When I have a cold, I experience the kind of depression that used to be a part of my everyday life for years and years. Yesterday I went out to do some errands because I was feeling better. Once I was out and about, though, I realized that I'm not back to my usual relatively good health. I don't take relatively good health for granted after so many years of compromised health.

Then I came across this.

And here is a view with a surprise guest while I was making a video from my porch. I thought that I had lost this footage and was unusually philosophical about that. I've lost so many things. A second surprise was discovering the footage this morning:


Monday, September 29, 2014

Through the rainbow series: #3






















Here is the set of 24 watercolor pencils that I am using for this series. This palette is called "Walk to the Sea." No wonder I love these colors. I bought this set at the Bellingham Community Food Co-op some time ago. The sketchpad came from the Dakota Art store. Now I understand why the colors are named as they are:



















fog rolls in
along the lane

rabbit boots
hop skip jump

squirrel jacket
dew at 5 am

carmine bird
hedgerow


While I was working on mandala #3, I wasn't able to keep everything as symmetrical as I wished. Oh well. It looks fine to me anyway. I don't need to aim for Fearful Symmetry. Leave that to some immortal hand or eye. Progress not perfection.

For this mandala, I started with "dandelion" and made my way through the rainbow to "tupelo honey." I haven't been using "biscuit festival," "fog rolls in," "wildfire," "teddy bear," "brown bear," or "picket fence." I use "grizzly bear" to date each mandala.  At some point, I could made some mandalas with the browns and the grey. 

It feels good to watch this unfold.  I feel better than I have felt in a long time. The counselor I am working with in regard to my war-related PTSD suggested processing my experiences through art work. I am grateful to her for that suggestion. 

From 1980 to 1991, I did process much of my old trauma, but beginning with the First Gulf War and with the wars that have followed there was new trauma that had the effect of blocking me from drawing and painting. This blog has been my creative outlet for almost 8 years, and there have been a few times when I have been able to paint or draw or weave in addition to writing blog posts and taking photographs:






Now seems to be a time for fearless and asymmetrical mandalas. Start at the center and move outward. Anyone can make one or be one. Each one unique.

P.S. Somehow I lost control of the fonts and text sizes and colors as I worked on this blog post today. 

Oh well (-: