Yesterday was my 72nd birthday. I usually keep my birthdays very simple. Only a few friends near and far even know the date of my birthday. When I had suggested to my first cousin who lives here in Bellingham that we meet with a fifth cousin from our grandfather's mother's side, my first cousin suggested that we meet at Big Rock Garden Park on my birthday. Big Rock Garden is a short walk up the hill from where I live. I agreed to the plan. My first cousin and fifth cousin had not met before. I worked as a hospital medical transcriptionist with my fifth cousin for years, unaware that we were cousins until I saw her name on my list of DNA cousins on Ancestry.com. Our ancestors came from Nordfjord in Norway to the Midwest in the 1800s, one branch of the family settling in Western Minnesota and the other in Nebraska. My fifth cousin's ancestors went on from Nebraska to Washington State and became dairy farmers about 10 miles north of Bellingham. Although I was born in Northern California, I have lived in Bellingham since I was 24 years old. My first cousin was born in Minnesota and came to live in Bellingham in the early 1980s. My fifth cousin knows of another fifth cousin who was born locally. I hope to meet her, too.
After days of clouds and rain that included a wild roaring wind and rain storm, my birthday couldn't have had better weather, with sunshine, deep blue sky and beautiful big white clouds.
In the delightful teaching and healing story of The Land of Look Behind, by Leisa Robotham-Reid and Gabrielle Eubank-Green, 6-year-old Angela "went to sleep dreaming of the Land of Look Behind and all the favorite toys waiting patiently to be found in that magical place."
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One of my earliest memories is of a red horse that I loved and carried around with me wherever I went. In the two photos below, I am 21 months old and 2 years old. My middle sister was born when I was 18 months old. Sometime between 21 months old and 24 months old, I lost my red horse and was absolutely bewildered and bereft. It was hard to understand that my red horse was gone. I can still feel the sadness I felt then. I was given a panda bear which I bonded with as I had bonded with the lost red horse. The family photo album below those two photos shows me carrying my beloved panda bear which I carried in most photos at the time my middle sister was 6 months old. Unfortunately, I also lost that panda bear and am told that I cried and cried unconsolably. Fortunately, my father understood how much I needed that panda bear and went out and found a second panda bear, which I accepted without question, carried around for years, always careful not to lose him, and I have him to this day. My mother told me the story about the lost first panda bear when I was in my 40s.
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Now I know where my red horse and my first panda are and can sleep peacefully knowing they are safe there in that magical place. Thank you so much, Leisa and Gabrielle!
Thank you to 37 Paddington for her part in making this book available to children everywhere!
My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth. My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans. Please call me by my true names, so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once, so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Nobody around here knows what happened to you No one will ask you to explain You have your arm around a drastic measure All of your efforts down the drain
There might be something here you could get into Or just be quiet by yourself oooooooo. . . Stare at the stuff up on the shelf
You work too hard to take this abuse Be on your guard jerks on the loose
Look who did it to you Joker over there with nothing to do Don't let 'm get through Keep on Doing what you do
Why don't you listen to my little pep talk Instead of what that person said And now I'm gonna open up the window And you will come in off that ledge
You work too hard to take this abuse Be on your guard jerks on the loose Jerks on the loose Jerks on the loose
(Terre and Suzzy Roche, 1982)
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("Woman Listening," drawn by am in 1984, chalk pastel on paper)
If I had any money to support this man's project, I would. Scroll down to see his I-Ching imagery, the result of his 25 years of solitary work on this project.
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When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
The small town where I live is one of the places that has long drawn people from all over the world because of its beauty and affordability and because it is a college town. In the past year or so, affordable housing has become a thing of the past. People who have lived here for most or all of their lives, who work hard and live from paycheck to paycheck are being given notice by property management companies that their rent is being raised by several hundred dollars. We have a substantial homeless population. People are selling their homes and moving to less desirable places in Washington and out of state because they can't afford the property tax here.
Although I have a tiny but beautiful low-end condominium that is paid for, I do pay monthly condo dues. My sole income is my Social Security check of just over $1000. Living simply, I have been able be oddly financially comfortable while aware of my financial vulnerability. Because investors are buying condominiums in my complex, the owner demographics are changing from low-income and retired people, mostly women, to those who have substantial disposable income, mostly men. Because this is a low-end condominium, like the one that collapsed in Florida, it has become clear that the condo dues need to be raised for numerous safety reasons. The newer financially secure residents can afford steadily increasing condo dues. Those of us who are already paying all that we can afford are suddenly aware that we may need to sell and move to a less desirable place because there is no way any of us could hope to afford to buy another condominium or to pay rent for the limited housing in our small town.
I bought my condo in 1989 for $50,000, which was almost more than I could afford at the time. Today it is worth $300,000, more or less. Watching the video and reading the comments, I see how widespread is the phenomenon shown in the video and am particularly struck by the comments about "company housing" and the affordable housing shortage:
"I owe my soul to the company store"- Sixteen Tons- Tennessee Ernie Ford. Funny how everything that's old is new again.
Bottom line the US has a major affordable housing shortage.
This makes me want to cry. We’ve truly failed the young people of this country
Oh. They only charge 1500 a month. Wow, that’s savage. We are literally going back to company towns. Even if they are paying 15/he and you work 40 hrs a week, that’s 60% of your gross pay. That’s evil
So, the average person can't afford to live in the cities or in the suburbs. GG America.
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What I am thinking this morning is that I will stay in my condo as long as possible and then sell it and hope that I can live on the proceeds, paying rent and applying for Section 8 help for the rest of my life.
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"Money doesn't talk, it swears."
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No easy answers to any one of these current crises that have been brewing for a long long time.
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Then I found this, not an answer but something that gives me a choice:
For many years, my students at Boston College have read Viktor Frankl’s sublime workMan’s Search for Meaning, a reflection on his experience at Auschwitz and a sketch of the psychotherapeutic technique he developed from that experience. I’ve wanted them to meet this remarkable man, and to learn something about how his experience of extremity forced him to confront the stark choice between despair and hope — and to choose hope. The quote above is a snapshot of how he responded: to retain what he describes as “the last of human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Frankl was a sober realist: he details the horrors of Auschwitz and the moral corruption of those who worked there. His philosophy was not about wishing away problems or pretending they do not exist, but rather to acknowledge them in their grim reality. Yet in spite of this realism, or rather because of it, he describes how holding onto hope was literally a life-or-death choice. Those who lost hope, he said, developed a certain look in their eye, a fatalism that inevitably ended in death. They experienced an “existential vacuum” — his term for a complete loss of meaning, a loss of hope, a sense that nothing really mattered any more.
(am's note: I was unable to adjust the spacing for the above excerpt)
One of the three Purple Heart Veterans says, "Why would I want my children to join the military?"
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More comments on the above YouTube video:
"I listened to Dire Straits throughout my time in Afghanistan. Played out of a communication laptop attached to our armoured vehicle. Kept me going. 👍👍"
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"This song has always been emotional to me, but it hits much harder after this past week. Thank you for this heart felt performance Mark. Thinking about everyone I served with in Afghanistan."
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"I'm a Vietnam Vet. When I heard this the first time I cried the tears of a baby. Only a combat vet can understand how much this song is true in every word. Don't think for one second that I believe any of you don't feel the words. I know you do. I'm talking of a visceral, deep in the bones, feeling. One that goes far beyond just feeling the song. Now it's so many years since this was released and still I cry when I hear it. Thank you Mark for writing this and for giving such a heartfelt performance each and every time. I love your work."
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"This is a song that kids should be taught in schools all over the world. Look after each other. Look after our world. Beautiful."
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BROTHERS IN ARMS
These mist covered mountains Are a home now for me But my home was the lowlands And always will be Someday you'll return to Your valleys and your farms And you'll no longer burn to be Brothers in arms
Through these fields of destruction Baptism of fire I've watched all your suffering As a battle raged high And though they did hurt me so bad In the fear and alarm You did not desert me My brothers in arms
So many different worlds So many different suns And we have just one world But we live in different ones
Now the sun's gone to hell And the moon's riding high Let me bid you farewell Every man has to die But it's written in the starlight And every line in your palm We are fools to make war On our brothers in arms
I want to make it clear, however, that although I am deeply opposed to war, I am not advocating appeasement. It is often necessary to take a strong stand to counter unjust aggression. For instance, it is plain to all of us that the Second World War was entirely justified. It "saved civilization" from the tyranny of Nazi Germany, as Winston Churchill so aptly put it. In my view, the Korean War was also just, since it gave South Korea the chance of gradually developing democracy. But we can only judge whether or not a conflict was vindicated on moral grounds with hindsight. For example, we can now see that during the Cold War, the principle of nuclear deterrence had a certain value. Nevertheless, it is very difficult to assess al such matters with any degree of accuracy. War is violence and violence is unpredictable. Therefore, it is better to avoid it if possible, and never to presume that we know beforehand whether the outcome of a particular war will be beneficial or not.
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From Ursula K. Le Guin's translation of the Tao Te Ching:
AGAINST WAR
Even the best weapon is an unhappy tool, hateful to living things. So the follower of the Way stays away from it.
Weapons are unhappy tools, not chosen by thoughtful people, to be used only when there is no choice, and with a calm, still mind, without enjoyment. To enjoy using weapons is to enjoy killing people, and to enjoy killing people is to lose your share in the common good.
It is right that the murder of many people be mourned and lamented. It is right that a victor in war be received with funeral ceremonies.
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Let every voice be heard.
"... Let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late ..."
And welcome to my heart and soul Miserable excuse But tell the world of all the pain I've caused I hope you don't forget these songs
And though I'm young life's been short I'm only twenty-one I feel as though we can relate on some Of these words I've written down
So turn off, turn off this song Find someone to love Turn off this song You can listen to it later And go outside
And guys in bands With vintage shirts and hundred dollar pants Often think we do what no one can We see ourselves above the rest
When faced with truth I realize there is nothing I can do Amount of talent or gift to bring That is greater than the orphan song she sings yeah
Turn off, turn off this song Find someone to love Turn off this song You can listen to it later And go outside
Yeah you turn off, turn off this song Find someone to love Turn off this song You can listen to it later And go outside And go outside And go outside And go outside
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Ten years later, this song remains as close to my heart as the first time I heard it. Grateful to YouTube for drawing my attention to numerous versions, which brought me to this comment by Sonja R:
I met him. He said he was visiting his grandparents in an old folks home and they weren't able to move around and go outside like they used to. So that was his inspiration for this song.
How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be? -- Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890)
Welcome to "37TH DREAM (RUMORS OF PEACE)".
The photograph currently at the top of my blog was taken from my porch before sunrise on October 29, 2023.
"OLD GIRL OF THE NORTH COUNTRY" (the earliest name for my blog -- http://oldgirlfromthenorthcountry.blogspot.com
) came to life in early December of 2006 so that I could post a 42-year retrospective of my paintings and drawings and through that action, create a new relationship with the day the man I loved returned from Vietnam in December 1970. For a while (sometime after spring of 2008, which is when he died) my blog was "TALKING 37TH DREAM WITH RAINBOW (RUMORS OF PEACE)". For a number of years, it's been "TALKING 37TH DREAM (RUMORS OF PEACE)." As of April 12, 2017 my blog was titled "37TH DREAM / TALKING 37TH DREAM (RUMORS OF PEACE/LOOKING UP)". Somewhere along the way it became 37TH DREAM (RUMORS OF PEACE).
To begin viewing the retrospective with narrative, scroll down to December 8, 2006, on this page:
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)
All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. -- Martin Buber (1878-1965)
It is only a little planet, but how beautiful it is.
-- Robinson Jeffers
The true end of a war is the rebirth of life; the right to die peacefully in your own bed. The true end of war is the end of fear; the true end of war is the return of laughter.
-- Alfred Molano
Enjoy every sandwich -- Warren Zevon (1947-2003)
Not in God's wilds will you ever hear the sad moan, "All is vanity." No, we are paid a thousand times for all our toil, and after a single day spent outdoors in their atmosphere of strength and beauty, one could still say, should death come — even without any hope of another life — "Thank you for this most glorious gift!" and pass on.
-- John Muir (1838-1914)
Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster. Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do? Philip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well. Hugh Fennyman: How? Philip Henslowe: I don't know. It's a mystery.
