"The Tree of Life" / And most of all, love

Not sure why I watched this movie the first time.  I know that I found it puzzling and unsettling.  Not sure when I watched it the first time, although it was made in 2010.  Recently Smetana's "Moldau" was brought to my attention by Sabine in a comment she made here.  It sounded familiar.  With a little Googling, I found that it was used in the soundtrack of "The Tree of Life."  Something moved me to check out a copy of the DVD from our public library.  This time, it was nearly unbearable to watch and I almost turned it off, but I sensed that fully experiencing the feelings it evoked would move me forward and bring healing.  That is just what happened.  

I'm watching it a third time from a new perspective.  All that was then.  All this is now.  I've come a long way from the frightened child who felt unloved, who hated herself and had little hope of anything ever changing.  I'm not a religious person.  This movie is set in a Judeo-Christian context.  Still, it speaks to me at a time that I need to hear what it has to say about families and grief and nature and grace and, most of all, love. 

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After discovering this song as it was churned up by my YouTube channel, I had to look up the word humanist and found that there are some humanists who are religious and that most humanists have strong religious backgrounds.

Coincidentally, in this context, I recently listened to an intriguing facilitated conversation between a religious person and a scientist.  I am neither and yet I relate to what both people say.

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I visited the elementary school up the street and looked at the mural on an outside wall of the school and the suggestions for children on the other side of the playground.  I remember how lonely and frightened I was in at home and in elementary school.

There were no adults I felt I could trust.  I wonder what I would have thought if I had seen these suggestions as a child, most of which were beyond my power to carry out.  Nevertheless, they are good suggestions.

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Here is the tree I donated to Big Rock Garden, which is within walking distance of the elementary school.  There is a trail through the woods from Big Rock Garden to the school.  The tree will be growing long after I am gone.  I am learning to trust.  I am learning to take the suggestions offered.  Never too late.

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"Beyond all reason is the mystery of love."

(Thaddeus Golas)