Monday, June 2, 2008


Today's Zen Calendar says:

A permanent state of transition is man's most noble condition.
(Juan Ramon Jimenez)

Yesterday was:

You, before me standing,
Oh, my eternal self!
Since my first glimpse
You have been my secret love.
(A Zen Monk's Song Of Samadhi)

I am feeling too fragile to respond to your kind comments or write any more of this story just now. Thanks so much for stopping by. What a long journey from Miramar Beach to the 159th Assault Support Helicopter Battalion to the VA Palo Alto Health Care System to this moment where my heart is so heavy.


R.L. Bourges said...

the heart is like the Big Dipper: when it fills with sorrow, it feels too heavy to lift ever again. and yet, and yet...every night, there it is.
New Moon tomorrow, am.

Dale said...


Zhoen said...

And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow.

Paul Simon.

robin andrea said...

Thinking of you. Wishing for wings to lift your heavy heart.

Anonymous said...


R.L. Bourges said...

just flew by to say hi

Anonymous said...

Thank you for telling this story. All of our heart stories are essentially one story. Telling it brings healing and movement, and sometimes the reality of things can't be told until death withdraws one of the characters from the story. I was with someone years ago just before she died. She had been in denial all along, that she was dying. At our final meeting, she told me that she had never wanted to live more than she did right then. That she KNEW that that desire to live would propel her into whatever came next. She was so weak, barely able to speak, but spoke with such intensity and intention that I took her meaning. She was seeing through a window that I couldn't see. She could see that she was going towards something and her own state provided propulsion. That moment has always been a great gift to me. That those who don't heal in this life go on to their next chapter, that we all do. Part of the heartbreak of 'what might have been', of 'what didn't get healed' is the self-accusations that accompany such thoughts hand-in-hand. 'If only'. My brother, who was paralyzed in l998 has told me that he deeply believes that everything is perfect as it is.
Thanks for being my blog-friend.