Sunday, February 4, 2024

Dance of joy before and after dreams


Years ago I began having a recurring dream that I was away from home but not in any danger.  Usually I was alone but not always.   As it began to get dark, I started to return home.  Always I would eventually realize that it was impossible to get home before dark.  Sometimes home was a thousand miles aways.  Sometimes it was only a few blocks away, but there were insurmountable obstacles between me and home.  Unsettling as this was, I began to be philosophical and accept the truth.

A few nights ago that dream came to me again:

This time I was not all that far from home, just a few miles east of my home at the west end of Lake Whatcom, the 14-mile-long lake that is just a few minutes walk away. 

(A few afternoons ago, looking east from my porch towards Lake Whatcom and the mountains beyond)

 I was walking west in a counter-clockwise direction toward home.  After some time passed, I was surprised to see that the landscape no longer looked familiar.  It appeared that I was in Eastern Washington rather than Western Washington.  I love the landscape in Eastern Washington and although I was surprised, I wasn't disturbed.  Still, it was getting late in the day and I realized how far from home I was. 

Unlike what I had been seeing in Western Washington, I saw no trees anywhere.  I saw beautiful bare hills and blue sky.  Looking out on what I still considered to be Lake Whatcom, I wondered if there were a bridge ahead where I could cross and get back to Western Washington, which now was east of where I had walked.

 Ahead of me, a small resort appeared in the distance, set on a hillside.  There weren't many people there, but I felt sure that someone would be able to help me find my way home again.  Each person I spoke with was kind but unable to guide me back to Western Washington before dark.  

Once again I felt philosophical, accepting that I would not able to get home before night.  I seemed to be in a safe place with safe people.  As I walked down the hillside toward the lake, I saw a woman I didn't know who was walking up the hill.  As she approached, she smiled and said, "Hi Amanda."  

I was startled because I couldn't imagine how she could know my name and then I realized I was dreaming.

I knew I would wake up and be home.


Last night before I went to bed I found the video of the two people dancing.  It brought me joy.  My night was filled with dreams.  I slept much longer than usual.  The only dream I remember is the last one.  In that dream, it was night and I was in safe place with safe people when I was told that someone had come in the night looking for me and that she was out on the porch waiting to talk with me.  This is a person who shouldn't be driving at all, much less driving at night.  This is a person with compromised judgment due to early dementia.  This is a person I care about and feel concerned for but feel sadly inadequate in terms of being able to help her.  I knew I would have to gently and respectfully confront her about her driving and let her know once again that my ability to help her is limited.  

Coincidentally, she was once a dancer.  This is my vision for her:


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