Monday, March 23, 2009


Being able to see the home movies of R with his parents and his nine siblings throughout his childhood and part way through his teenage years is deeply affecting for me. As the date of R's death last year approaches, the recent gift of the home movies from R's sister fills me with gratitude. R and I were born within 24 hours of each other in 1949. He was a one year old in New Jersey. I was a one year old in California. There is healing for me in telling our story in words and photos and drawings and paintings. It wasn't all good. It wasn't all bad, either. It was something else.

It's still in the thirties here, but I took a short walk with a friend yesterday. This is a view from Marine Park, looking out at Bellingham Bay and the San Juan Islands:


robin andrea said...

I hope you will burn a yahrzeit on the anniversary of R's death. It is a beautiful act of remembering.

R.L. Bourges said...

'not all good, not all bad, something else' - I like that. The 'something else' being the closest we get to making something personal and real out of what 'should' or 'shouldn't' have happened.

P.S. You were quite the cutie :-)

Loren said...

It's been tough getting out recently here in the great PNW, hasn't it?

Supposedly the weather is supposed to improve by the end of the week, but kids here have Spring Break coming up and that usually puts a real jinx on the weather.

am said...

robin andrea -- Thanks so much for mentioning burning a yahrzeit. I've been wondering what I could do on that day in remembrance of R.

Your suggestion gives me a place to start and reminded me that R's first gift to me was a beautifully scented golden candle with astrological signs embossed in it. It was made at the candle factory in Half Moon Bay.

R.L. -- As were we all!

Loren -- A friend told me that someone from the generation before ours had commented that this winter and early spring have been like the cold snowy winters and chilly springs from his childhood.

I'm so stubborn that I resist turning the heat on even though I'm uncomfortably chilled in these early mornings. When I step outside, though, it feels comparatively warm inside (-: